Central Algarve Walking Football

GARY BRISTOW

NAME Gary Bristow.
BIRTHPLACE Fulham, London.
PREVIOUS CLUBS ping 1500 s, Ping 425 driver.
CHILDHOOD CRUSH Kim Wilde, Jay from Buck’s Fizz.
FAVOURITE PROFESSIONAL PLAYER OF ALL TIME
George best and my subuteo centre forward Harry niftos.
FAVOURITE BROWNS CLUB PLAYER AND WHY
Probably Ron, l can’t play properly unless I’m verbally abused.
MOST DIFFICULT BROWNS CLUB OPPONENT
Ron , feeling his Ned Kelly against my back is quite off putting 🙈.
MOST MEMORABLE MATCH
Playing against Brian kilkline the uncompromising Newcastle centre half! I had him in my pocket! He won’t see this will he 😳.
BIGGEST THRILL Ref back to Kim Wilde😜, she filled those lonely teenage afternoons 🤓.
JOHN LENNON OR PAUL McCARTNEY
Got to be McCartney but with all his money, he couldn’t find a woman with 4 working limbs 🙈.
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT
I had penis reduction surgery and they never took enough off!
BEST COUNTRY VISITED Thailand.
FAVOURITE FOOD
Anything my wife doesn’t cook! Hannibal lectern would turn his nose up at one of her roasts! She asked me for some peace and quiet in the kitchen so, I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm 🆘.
FAVOURITE PORTUGUESE FOOD Pork cheeks but, last time I had some they were so undercooked I ended up having a conversation with it 👀.
FAVOURITE DRINK
I’m a lager lout but, anything that someone else has paid for! Obviously the Geordie members have no idea what a bar is 🙈.
MISCELLANEOUS LIKES
Other men’s wives, clothes, I like a nice whistle with a nice Peckham rye, matching tilbury docks with clean Kathmandu’s and a white dickie dirt.
MISCELLANEOUS DISLIKES
All members of Browne’s, bodger Johnson , watching our players missing penalties! And double xl football shorts.
FAVOURITE TV SHOW
Afterlife, Ozark and old Top of the Pops with Kim Wilde and Jimmy Saville! Now we know about him it made it even worse he never replied to my letters 😬.
FAVOURITE FILM
Godzilla ! Went to see it with my first wife, she’s still there now signing autographs in the foyer!
FAVOURITE SINGER Not Kim Wilde ! She only helped me out visually 🤓, Paul Rogers, Phil Lynott, Paul Buchanan , Joe Jackson.
FAVOURITE ACTOR Boris Johnson, Ricky Gervais plus all my girlfriends.
BIGGEST INFLUENCE ON CAREER
Glad you called it a career! I was in dry cleaning, biggest conversation stopper ever! Trained as a gynocologist, packed it up but I still keep my hand in! I enjoy the cervix industry.
BIGGEST DRAG IN SOCCER Players falling over in the upmost pain! And that’s just Tuesday mornings! Also being told I’m running all the time then I see Ebe overlapping.
WHAT ONE ITEM WOULD YOU TAKE WITH YOU TO A DESERT ISLAND Photo of Kim Wilde 👀.
WHICH PERSON IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO MEET
Phil Lynott from Thin Lizzy, dead now but the main man.